On Fear

I have been thinking about fear as I feel it right now. Yeah, I have gone geeky/ mature/ full psycholgy masters on it. 

I realised fear is not about the moment itself that you fear. It is about the anticipation of the moment, the unknown of it. 

If you have a fear of needles like I do, then it will be before you take the actual injection that you will be the most afraid. Because you don't know what the pain is going to be like. Once you've taken the shot you pretty much know that those kinds of injections only hurt so much. 

So when I need to address my fear of needles, I think of how the previous times have not been so painful, and even if it hurts more than that, I can take so much more pain than what it could be. It gives me peace. And insight into the fact that fear is of the anticipation and not the moment itself! 

Adjustment?

Since my wedding I've been hearing this new term 'adjustment' quite frequently. And from the way it is talked about, it seems like I've never done it before and it's something new I've to learn. I've heard so many times about how people adjust to people, especially in the married couples context (which makes up for about 95% of conversations about adjustments).

I was thinking about it this whole concept of adjustment that we have been made to believe. The gist is adjustment is something difficult to do but it's absolutely essential to a happily married life. It's not uncommon to hear happily married couples talk proudly going through such difficulties with a smile on their face as they 'adjust' to their partners. They talk of it like war stories of battles won and do it with such pride.

I find this whole concept really one-sided. We always talk about how as a spouse you adjust to this behaviour or that trait of your spouse. How you've learnt to be okay with it. Or find your ways around it. And each party talks of it as if it's only been their battle and only their victory.

It makes me think whether these people have ever wondered about what are the behaviours and traits of theirs that the people around them are adjusting to? Wouldn't that lead to real empathy in the relationship? Wouldn't that lead to easier conversations? And wouldn't that lead to real change? Not of your partner but of you for your partner... to make relationships easier and more loving? It's worth giving a thought about, isn't it?

On Remembering and Forgetting

In life, forgetting is as important as remembering.

Remember the lesson. Forget the pain.

We all go through many situations in life where we learn lessons that last a lifetime. It is very important to remember that lesson.

But it is more important to let go of the pain you went through to learn that lesson so you can move on. 

To Laugh or To Cry?

So, I am doing my Masters in Psychology.

What is with this declaration, you wonder? Well, it will become evident in the next few lines.

The other day we were having a class and our professor was trying to decide which movie to show us for the course, and A Beautiful Mind was under consideration.

I believe the protagonist in the movie has schizophrenia (I've heard quite a bit about the movie and it is still on my to-see list... someday soon, hopefully!) and our professor (a PhD in Psychology) describes schizophrenia to the class as, "It is a severe mental disorder... of a very high order... (and some more such words later) you can take pills and get cured like the protagonist did in the movie."

A PhD in Psychology describing schizophrenia in these terms to a second year MA Psychology class... did not know whether to cry or laugh.

For the uninitiated: we study schizophrenia symptoms in much greater detail at graduation level so we KNOW HOW it is a severe mental disorder of the highest order in much complexity than he tried to describe it to us.

And NO it DOES NOT get cured. You can only manage the symptoms through drug therapy. I did not do Clinical Psychology and even I know this.

Hence the question, 'To Laugh or To Cry?'

Why Have I Not Written in So Long?

Well, it isn't really news that I haven't written in long on this blog. Is it really because I have stopped having aha-moments? Can't be. I haven't stopped living, observing, breathing... which means I haven't stopped thinking. So, I've had aha-moments. 

Then what is it? Why haven't I written in so long? 

Maybe I haven't found the right words to express or indulge my thoughts in. 

Or maybe I have been so focussed on my other food blog so much that I have spent all my energies and creativity on it. It so often happens to us that we start few things but get so involved in just one of them that we forget or overlook the others. Even though they give us as much pleasure and are as important to us. 

But as I have come back to writing this blog, I have realised how much fun it has been to write this one too. How much I love writing about things apart from food. So, its good to stay in touch with this thing and do it. And I will keep writing here too.   

On Reading

We were having a workshop in school about 10 years ago. At the beginning of the workshop the instructor asked us, "If I give you 86400 everyday where would you spend it?"

My answer without even a moment's hesitation was, "Books! Books! Books!" It has not changed much till date.

You see, he later 'revealed' that 86400 is the number of seconds in a day, and I would gladly spend every single one of it on reading! With maybe a little writing and a little cooking thrown in!

Pictures That Tell Stories

I was the official photographer today at our department event and I realised when I click pictures spontaneously, they are for a story and not the composition per se. So if I see something and I have words in my mind that will capture that moment perfectly I will immediately capture that picture, whatever the light, shadows, proper composition or not.

I guess its a little off-beat from regular photography, but to me the moment has told me a story that I just want to share as best as I can...